Resonance, Relationships and Letting Go...

One thing I have learned on my journey - quite arguably one of the most IMPORTANT things I have learned - is to be attached to the goal, not the process. Or, in the realm of this blog post, be attached to the community not the individuals within it. While this seems as though it is the exact opposite of "it's about the journey, not the destination" it really isn't.

This is being spurred by some recent interpersonal happenings in my life and I really wanted to work through it on a broader platform than my personal journal... because it seems like there are a lot of people going through upheaval in their personal lives this year. I am definitely not alone in this.

I recently felt the need to shift out of some of my closer relationships... some were family, some friends, some collaborators. One individual took it very poorly stating they did not understand why I was isolating from them and that I 'really needed to sit with this' to realize I'm wrong. The gist of their rant was that I need to stay in the same place with the same people for the betterment of "the community". So I sat with that.. and came to the very strong conclusion of 'fuck that shit'. As always, I peace in and out and all things inbetween. This is no different.

When I say we should be attached to the community and not the individuals within it, I am not saying that individuals do not matter... but I am speaking more to a collective mindset—prioritizing the well-being, growth, and healing of the whole over a singular person or relationship. For example, I had created a Women's Circle in the town I live in. After a year of hosting, I knew it was time to move on... so I passed it to another woman in the group. I wasn't about ending this circle because I wasn't leading it anymore (that would be the ego), it was about continuing the circle for the community (the collective). As intuitives, healers, energy & lightworkers, our work is in service to the broader community, not to cater to one person’s ego or resistance.

We often get lost trying to “save” one client, friend, or seeker, but we really need to trust the ripple effect—helping the community helps the individual. I have been caught in this more times than I would like to admit... losing myself to "save" another and in the end, it was just messy. Detachment from personal entanglement is something that spiritualists all seek to attain at a certain point in their journey. It is not being uncaring, it is actually the opposite, loving something enough to set it free to walk its own path instead of chaining or caging it. Detachment from personal entanglement is energetic freedom.

Christine Lang is a Medical Intuitive and talks often about about this sort of thing. Basically, she states that you should really listen for that 'ping' when a relationship feels misaligned. When you look at your phone when it rings... if that person's number/picture is there do you feel excited or hesitant or just outright dismissive? If it isn't the first, your energetic connection is fading or gone completely. It's not a 'bad' thing, it is a part of growth. It's a sign that the resonance has shifted. The people in your life reflect where you have been, where you currently are, and what you are ready to heal.

As you grow, you’ll stop resonating with certain people or dynamics. That’s not to be considered a failure in that relationship—it’s soul evolution. Some relationships fade naturally because the energetic link dissolves. The reason your paths were meant to cross has run its course. If you think of it as a video game (cause we all know we're in a simulation LOL) - you completed the side quest. You gained experience and a reward. Maybe you'll meet that person again in another area, but for now, your link is finished. This also makes space for new connections that match your next level of vibration. And that level will again be a reflection of where you were (so you can help them), where you currently are, and what you are ready to heal or elevate. It's a continual cycle.

As humans though, we generally tend to hang onto people, places or things MUCH too long. We don't cut ties with toxic family members because they're family... we stay in bad relationships and marriages for any and every reason we can think up... we stay in that soul-draining job for years because it's a comfortable hell that we can count on... we stay with the same friend group because we feel loyalty means we cannot venture off. When really that should not be the case!

Just because someone is family - be it a cousin, a parent, a sibling or even a child (an adult child - I am not saying abandon your kiddos!) - they absolutely do not have the right to treat you poorly and disrespect you. Blood makes you a relation, family are people you choose... and at any time in your life, you can make a different decision to keep those people actively in your life. You don't have to discard the relationship,because we still can have love for those individuals but it can absolutely be maintained from a distance. And if they cannot accept the flow of energy and resonance, they should probably do some work on respecting the needs and boundaries of others. However, you do not need to stay there for that. If they are meant to come back around to you, they will, when your spirit/self is resonating at the same frequency again.

Your ego will always choose an uncomfortable hell over an unknown heaven. The ego wants things to stay the same, its ONLY motivation is survival. The ego fears death more than anything—and it can sabotage healing, awakening, or peace to avoid dissolving. Some people unconsciously create illness, conflict, or emotional shutdown when ego feels threatened by transformation or perceived annihilation/abandonment.

Your energy, your path, your personal growth is sacred. We need to embrace flow, trust our intuition and stop holding onto things (be it people, places, or situations) that are not for us. Because that is taking up space for the things that we are meant to step into next.

What do you think? DO we spend too much time holding onto people, places, or situations we have outgrown? When do you know it's time to move forward?

Until next time...

Ehrin xx